Throughout your life, have you ever been chastised while being playful, having others tell you that your behavior was inappropriate? Can you think of times when your antics were appreciated as cute or funny, while the next time you were punished or ridiculed for the same behavior?
How many times have you heard statements such as, “Act your age!” Then you went to the movies or a circus and watched adults being paid to do the very things you had been told not to do? People are filled with judgments they project onto others; their whims tend to change with their moods. When life is good, things are silly and funny. When life is stressful, the same behavior becomes annoying and bothersome.
As children develop, they learn to discriminate through experience and the reactions of others. Watch very young children at play. They pick up a toy and use their senses to explore it. They look at it, shake it, put it in their mouths, sniff it, they react to sounds it makes, they use their fingers and tongues to feel the texture, they throw or drop it . . . repeatedly. While they do this, their brain is categorizing and integrating all of this new information.
When they observe the reactions of others, they are likely to change their initial belief code. For example, the baby loves ground green beans. His brother repeatedly says, “Oooh, that’s gross!” When the baby is old enough to understand the older brother’s reaction, it is likely the baby will reject eating ground green beans.
Children are often labeled according to standardized testing norms. Soon the labeled children believe they aren’t normal because they have “ADD, are slow learners, etc.” How tragic for a child to label herself as inferior!
Belief codes are built throughout life: children should be seen and not heard, dress and act like your peers, if I’m not good, I’ll get punished, the truth gets me into trouble, etc. Many have difficulty giving and receiving. Why is this? Often, it comes from feelings of unworthiness. Other times it is from the belief “If I take this gift, then I will have to repay it” or “there are strings attached.” These thoughts become entrenched during childhood, generally from parents who suffer from these issues.
How does one get past these blocks? Go within and take a close look at the belief codes you currently have. Become aware of your “stinking thinking.” Take time to remove your masks of fear and shame. Let go of harsh feelings you harbor against others. Take responsibility for what you eat and for your health. Choose jobs that give you joy. Be selective when bringing children into the world. Love your babies unconditionally. This cannot happen until you love yourself unconditionally.
Pay attention to the way you treat each other. Choose kindness and love in every decision you make. Release issues of weight, beauty, intelligence and anything else that keeps you trapped in a world of comparison. Take time to relax in nature, observing how everything balances itself and flows without making judgments. Pay attention to the choices you make and take responsibility for whatever situations you currently find yourself. Be grateful for every experience, learning to make better choices, thus allowing your life to unfold magnificently.
If you feel stuck, seek those who have been where you are and find ways they pulled themselves out of the mire. Support each other, especially during those “dark nights.” Think out of the box, press past fears and closed-mindedness and work towards your dream. You are never in a position where there are not at least a dozen solutions to each problem.
Put on an attitude of gratitude each morning when you arise! Gratitude opens the door to abundance. Think on this for a moment. When you give a gift to others and they are appreciative and go out of their way to give thanks, you are more likely to gift them again. When you give a gift to someone who either grumbles about it or never offers gratitude, you become less motivated to gift them in the future. An attitude of gratitude allows abundance to flow freely.
Are you ready to do some major housecleaning? Swipe away the cobwebs of disillusionment, sweep away thoughts of low-self esteem and mop up all those memories of sadness and despair. Dismantle the walls and drain the moat full of alligators, allowing others to enter your domain. It is time to wash your windows and let your light shine. You created much of the mess you are in and you have the full ability to clean up that mess and create a life better than before.
It will take time and effort to undo the things you have allowed, but it is well worth the effort if you truly want to experience peace and joy on a daily basis. Roll up your sleeves and begin, knowing that once you clear out the mess and get your life in control, it will be easy to maintain. After the major work is completed, you will find yourself energized, with time on your hands to enjoy more endeavors that are creative.
Your need to judge others will fall to the wayside. Your ability to appreciate others will significantly increase. Your ability to maintain a state of peace no matter what happens around you will become second nature. Life will become more meaningful. Your creative juices will overflow. You will learn to be more aware each moment of your life. You can truly live in the “Garden of Eden” without fear of banishment. As you dismantle the belief codes you have created, your inner child will leap forth with exuberance and joy.